Wanted: Gullible Texans wearing sunglasses
So my 16-year-old son started drivers' ed this week.
I pick him up after the first day of class and as we pause at a stoplight, I ask him to dig my sunglasses out of my purse.
"You know these are illegal in Texas, don't you?" he asks as he hands them over.
"Not falling for it," I say.
"No, really," he says, deadpan. "That was in the really boring video we saw today."
He elaborates. It's just like those tinted car windows that are illegal if the police can't see inside your car. Plus you only think sunglasses help you see better. In fact, they impair your ability to clearly see what's going on around you.
From the back seat, another 16-year-old in our carpool speaks up.
"The video was really old, like from the '90s or something," he says. "Afterwards they told us the fine had been raised to $200."
Is it possible that somewhere in the last 20 years that I've been auto-renewing my Texas driver's license they changed the law?
These guys are good.
"That's ridiculous," I say, feigning confidence.
Just then we pass a wreck on El Camino Real. A policeman is directing traffic.
"Mom," my son hisses. "Take them off! He'll see you."
"Mom, I know what I'm talking about! They hardly ever enforce it unless they pull you over for something else. One false move and you're busted."
I detect no squaring of his jaw, the unconscious tell that used to give him away every time. The little liar mastered facial expressions around age 12.
I casually cruise by the policeman unnoticed, and my son appears to supress a small sigh of relief. The back-and-forth continues for another 3 miles. By the time I pull into my driveway, I'm convinced. Ninety-nine percent convinced anyway.
Bright and early the next morning, I pick up a 16-year-old girl who's in our marching band car pool.
This particular French horn player has just finished drivers' ed and in the past has proven to be a far more useful source of information than my closed-mouth son.
"Hey. Is it against the law to wear sunglasses in Texas?"
From the corner of my eye, I see my son frantically gesturing and nodding to our passenger in the backseat even as she innocently confirms that I really should pay more attention to my common sense.
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